COYR Laughter Lounge
#16
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”
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#17
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
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#18
I got a phone call last night to say that my ex wife had been in an accident.

I rushed to the hospital and asked the nurse, "How is she, can I see her?"

She looked at me sadly and said, "I'm afraid you're too late."

I said, "Okay, no problem. I'll come back in the morning."
Πιστέψτε το, θα τα καταφέρω.
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#19
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you 800 quid to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 quid and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 quid he owes me?"
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#20
At a disco:
He: “Wow, what’s a cute girl like you doing in a corner all alone?”
She: “I had to fart.”

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
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#21
A man walks into a bar and shouts "OWWWWW!!!!"................It was an iron bar

Baddum Tish!

Thank you ladies an gen'lemen, I'm here all week Big Grin
''My Desire is always to be here, oh City Ground''.
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#22
(11-06-2018, 07:14 PM)Tricky Wrote: A man walks into a bar and shouts "OWWWWW!!!!"................It was an iron bar

Baddum Tish!

Thank you ladies an gen'lemen, I'm here all week Big Grin

I don't know what you are drinking Tricky but whatever it is I wouldn't mind a drop  Huh
Πιστέψτε το, θα τα καταφέρω.
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#23
(11-06-2018, 07:55 PM)Sniffer Dog Wrote:
(11-06-2018, 07:14 PM)Tricky Wrote: A man walks into a bar and shouts "OWWWWW!!!!"................It was an iron bar

Baddum Tish!

Thank you ladies an gen'lemen, I'm here all week Big Grin

I don't know what you are drinking Tricky but whatever it is I wouldn't mind a drop  Huh

Big Grin
''My Desire is always to be here, oh City Ground''.
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#24
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back a month later and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times.
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#25
Russian police have praised the behaviour of Scotland football fans who have started arriving in Russia for this summers World Cup  Smile
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#26
Saudi Arabia will surely beheading out of the World Cup soon  Wink
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#27
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"

He says: "I wanted to f**k your brains out and suck your tits dry".

She says: "What are you thinking now?"

"Looks like I did a pretty good job!"
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#28
recently bought a satnav which is endorsed by the band U2.

its useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what im looking for.
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#29
(15-06-2018, 03:57 PM)the jock Wrote: recently bought a satnav which is endorsed by the band U2.

its useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what im looking for.

Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
COYR!
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#30
(15-06-2018, 02:38 PM)Greek Goddess Wrote: Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"

He says: "I wanted to f**k your brains out and suck your tits dry".

She says: "What are you thinking now?"

"Looks like I did a pretty good job!"

Blush
''My Desire is always to be here, oh City Ground''.
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